Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Pouring My Heart Out



Rather than my usual DWTS recap, today I am participating in Shell's POYHO.

I have been wanting to do this for a while now, but when DWTS is on I can't because my recap is on Wednesday.  And I also will forget.  Does that happen to you?  It happens to me.  All the time.  I just have too much going on.  Which is why I decided to do this today.

I am tired.  I spend so much time in my car driving that I literally dread it.  I am the taxi.  I do not want that as a job.  It would suck.  It's draining for one thing, and people are horrible drivers.  Some are okay, like me and you of course.  But the rest of them just plain suck.  And I just hate driving all day.  It's my whole day it seems.

I never knew I could do the things I do.  Make my kids go to school.  It's been especially challenging this year with my Little Middle.  I have had to really crack down on her.  She may hate me right now, but I know what is best.  She always comes back happy.  It's rough though.  I know how much I hated going.  But I fight the good fight and get her going.  It's exhausting.

I am the it person.  Mom will do it.  Oh she'll do it.  Wife will do it.  How did I get that part?  I don't recall auditioning for it.  I certainly didn't ask for it.  It's a crummy role I tell ya.  And I am worn out.  I have been worn out for  a very long time.  Most days I can push through.  It may not be easy.  But I do.  I cried all through Sacrament on Sunday.  Literally.  I could not stop.  It was just that bad.  I hate crying.  It makes your head hurt, your eyes get all puffy, your face turns red, and if you're lucky like me you get a nice little rash on your chin.  It didn't resolve anything.  It did release some tension, but I decided enough was enough.
Bleeding is overrated anyway.  So the next day?  I was the polar opposite.  I was almost commit-able. I didn't care, laughing is way better than crying any day.  

I think I have a long road ahead.  Growing pains too.  I may choose to bleed some more.  But I also might choose to go Jack Bauer.
He shoots without asking questions.  Most days, I agree with his tactics.  The rest...I would likely practice them.  (hehe)  I have to put a little humor into this post so that it is not totally dreary.  

I did watch DTWS and I think Len is a big meany head!  I love LOVED Maria and Derek's Triple partner dance, a Bollywood style Samba that was spunky and cute. Len, of course, hated it.  I think Carrie Ann and Bruno gave them at least 9's but maybe 10's.  Old curmudgeon Len gave them an uncalled for SEVEN!  What a butt!  Still they are safe and onto the semi-finals!  Yippeee.  They had a double elimination this week:  Roshon and Chelsie--aww poor kid hung his head like a kicked pup.  And Melissa and Maks.  IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY!!!!

What is weighing heavy on your mind.  Poor your heart out, and link up with Shell!

8 comments:

Shell said...

I need those ugly cries sometimes. I don't know how we become the she'll do it people. We need breaks, too!

I thought for sure I'd have to drag my middle son out of the van for school this morning. I hate days like that.

Nicole said...

What a crappy birthday present! But other than Roshan (I think he was good enough) I think the right people are in the semi-finals.

Emmy said...

There is a quote from Sister Hinckley out there about laughing instead of crying because crying gives you a headache. Keep fighting girl! Sorry this is all going on. You can do it!

Annmarie Pipa said...

I had a day last week feeling like this...and my very last stop was the dry cleaners and the poor lady said his suits wee not done yet....I said "WHAT!" I went back the next day at 9am to say I was sorry!!
I am your newer follower..pls follow back if you can.

becca said...

i don't cry I write when i'm upset and turn music up loud and i i'm happy Maria made the semi finals

MiMi said...

Aw. You are like Superwoman because you're a momma! You gotta be. And if you go Jack Bauer once in a while? Eh...who cares? LOL!

Colleen said...

Sorry about the stress. I was a monster in the mornings at that age, too. Luckily (??), I leave for work before Punky is even up.

I think everyone is having a rough week. Must be the aftermath of the super moon ;-) Hope you feel better soon.

Just start running around yelling

"NOT IT!"

mormonhermitmom said...

Wagh! No fun being the taxi. All the stuff that sticks to the floor too.