Friday, September 24, 2010

Are You Kidding Me?

After 3 miserable weeks without air conditioning, I received my electric bill.  I foolishly thought that my bill would reflect that.  Well according the graph it did.  It went down.  How then, did my bill double?  What the heck?  So I did what any disgruntled customer would do.  I called them.  First how many freaking buttons do I have to push before I get an actual human being?  And what is the probability that the human I get will be of at least average intelligence.  Let's address the first question, shall we.  I think I had to have pushed 7 or 8 times not including my garden variety of voice answers.  "yes" "no"  "billing dispute"  "CAN I HAVE SOMETHING WITH A PULSE!"  See that is the mistake.  I wasn't specific enough.

I got the dumb arse with the pulse.  The dumb arse who pointed out to me how hot it had been last month.  Well no sh*t Sherlock!  I would never have guessed that without you!  But wait, there was this little peace of information that sort of cued me in...
Yeah...and that was a good and cool temp.  The hottest day it was 87 degrees in the house.  Let me repeat....87 freaking degrees in the HOUSE!  So Dumb Arse... DA we will call him asks me, "What temperature do you keep the house."  I am an honest person.  It's just my nature.  "75." I told him.  He then tells me that my AC will run more efficiently if I keep it at 78 and in turn would bring my bill down.  I held my tongue, but I wanted to ask him if HE kept his thermo at 78.  I bet he doesn't.  And the offices of the electric company....78?  Psssh!  Yeah whatever. But wait it gets better.  I calmly explain to DA that our air conditioner was broken.  That the compressor was leaking at its base and the unit was out of freon.  Well if you run your AC at 78 it will work more efficiently and its life expectancy is longer.

Well thank you, DA it all makes sense now!  Of course.  How stupid of me.  And here I thought it was just old.  22 freaking years old!  The most I got out of this conversation was an extension on the due date which included a thirty-five dollar late fee I wasn't informed I would be getting!  Therefore,  SO. CAL EDISON....





I was inspired to write this post by my BF Emmy.  If you want to play along....go and visit Mimi at Living in France.  Have fun dropping your F-Bomb!  

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Answers. Also... A birthdAy!

Jenny Matlock


I was tAgged by Emmy to Answer eight questions!  So here are my Answers.  

1) If you could pick one place to live, where would it be?
Hawaii or some other tropical type of place.
2)Are you a dog or cat person? Why?
I prefer cats simply because they are lower maintenance.  I am lazy.  Like a cat.
3) Close your eyes and reach into your purse; what is the first thing you grabbed?
A little black pouch for my phone...my phone is not in it.  It's in the depths of my purse.
4) What was your favorite childhood toy?
I played with Barbies a lot, but my go to was my tape recorder.
5) The seasons are about to change; which is your favorite?
I love LOVE Fall.  Bestest weather.
6) What side of the bed do you sleep on? And do you like cuddling when you sleep or do you have to have your own space?
On the left and I totally want my space.
7) What is your favorite candy?
Homemade butterfingers and peanut butter cups.
8) If I gave you $100 right now, what would you do with it?
Why?  Are you offering?  :)

Also today is a very special day.  13 years ago at precisely 5:43PM something happened that would change my whole perspective on everything I ever did or said and on anything I would ever say or do.  She cried for four months.  I hardly slept.  She had the biggest brightest eyes you ever saw.
At a very early age she was very Articulate!  She and I talk all the time.  About anything.  Everything.  I hope it can always be like that.  She is 13 today.  I don't know what I did.  I think I blinked.  I am trying to keep my eyes open longer now.  Because if I blink again she will be grown.  Don't be in too big of a hurry, sweetie.  You can grow, just take your time.  Love you!  Happy Birthday!



Now I must tag some friends to Answer my questions...first the questions....

1.  Name three things from your "Bucket List."
2.  You have an entire day to  yourself.  How do you spend it?
3.  What is your favorite TV show?
4.  What are you most afraid of?
5.  What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
6.  What was the last movie you saw at the theater?
7.  What is your favorite song?
8.  Tell me a secret.

Here's who I tag:

My lovely daughter
A Hermit Mom
Absolutely Narcissim
Semi-Slacker Mom
Hand in Hand
Involuntary Smiles
KampKK
Write-Brained

***********************************************************
truthsandlies

I really did play softball.  And we were really undefeated for two years in a row.  But a bench warmer?  Puh-leeeeeze!  I was a power hitter.  Knocked 'em out of the park I did!  

1.  I have been pregnant 4 times
2.  I know exactly when Little Middle was concieved
3.  The boy took 5 years to concieve




Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dancing with the Stars, Season 11

I am so excited to be doing this again.  I had a lot of fun last season.  It was a lot of work actually.  I have a new appreciation for folks who do reviews!   
Adrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani

First up was Adrina Patridge.  Until she was announced as one of the stars, I had no idea who she was.  She stars on "The Hills."  Am I the only one on the planet who had never heard of this MTV Reality show?  She seems very quiet and also willing to work.  I like it when the celeb is willing to work!  She was a bit unnerved by being first.  I would be too. Their dance was:  The Cha Cha Cha. They were very bold and had Adrina perform solo.  That is a huge move on the first night.  She did a good job.  And whether I know who she is or not, she has some potential. 

Len told Adrina that she danced with confidence and had good technique.  His advice:  Be more fiesty!
Bruno ( I {heart} you) called her a beautiful show pony.  His advice:  She needs to hold her shape and be sexier.
Carrie Ann said that to start the season with a solo takes cahonies! She praised her for how well she was able to bring the moves together and connect with her partner(Tony).  Her advice:  Be careful jumping into your moves.  I might think it's a lift.  And you know me!  Yes, Carrie we do.  Lift Nazi!

Scores:  Carrie Ann: 6, Bruno: 6, Len: 7 Total: 19

Kurt Warner & Anna Trebunskaya

I am not a sports fan, but I will take their word for it, when they tell me he was a football player.  Quarterback.  He is also married with seven kids.  He introduced Anna to his family which I thought was pretty cool.  In the first rehearsal he was very klunky.  He told Anna that he didn't like his technique.  She told him he didn't have one yet.  As a man, he has it rougher than the women.  Men are supposed to lead.  How are you supposed to lead at something that you have never done before?  Their dance:  The Viennese Waltz.  He lacks confidence, but if he can stay a little longer he may relax enough to realize he can do it.  

Bruno told him he was a graceful quarterback.  A natural.  His advice:  Work on the technique and footwork.
Carrie Ann told him he will be a legend on the dance floor.  She told him he was very natural and debonair.
Len told him he was glad they liked it.  He said it lacked grace and elegance and had very little to commend.  Ouch!  Who put cat pee in your cheerios!?
Scores:  Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 5, Bruno: 7  Total 19

Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer


Kyle Massey is 19 if he is a day.  He is a Disney kid and a singer/rapper.  

In first rehearsal, Kyle was caught presumably enjoying the view.  Lacey called him on it, "Were you looking at my boobs?"  He only buried himself further when he said that he needed a focal point.  Not sure he meant that literally.  Freudian Slip perhaps?  Rich defended him saying if her shirt wasn't so low he might be less likely to look.  Agreed.  Their dance was the Cha Cha Cha.  He did a very good job.  He is certainly an entertainer.

Carrie Ann embarrasses herself by telling the manboy that she has already fell in love with him.  It's her first crush of the season.  Okay Carrie, you are old enough to be his mother!  She did tell him that he was dynamite out there.  "fantastical."
Bruno at his absolute Bruno-ness said, "Kyle you are like an adorable naughty little puppy!  Oh how I love Bruno!!   Len simply smiled and said, "I liked it!" 

Scores:  Carrie Ann:  8 Len: 7 Bruno:  8  Total: 23

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke


Okay, Rick Fox is like 6'7" and there was Cheryl Burke...all five feet four of her!  She had her shoes specially made to compensate for the height difference.  Her heels were 4 inches.    Rick Fox says the only familiar about ballroom dancing is the floor.  Despite that, and the height difference their Viennese Waltz looked really good.  And he has a suave look about him. 

Len tells him he could be his twin.  Sure Len.  He goes on to tell him that he didn't see a problem with the height difference that Rick's posture was amazing.  Bruno is all excited to have two sportsman competing this season.  He told him he is looking forward to seeing them fight it out.  Carrie Ann furthers her embarrassment by calling Rick, "Mr. Fox" because he is a "fox." and then proceeds to giggle like a teenage girl.  First Kyle now Rick.  I see a trend here.

Scores:  Carrie Ann:  8 Len:  7  Bruno: 7  Total:  22

Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel

Margaret Cho shared a very painful memory with Louis.  A time when she was a child in ballet and another mean girl called her a fat ballerina.  Now she was excited too feel like a lady.  Their Viennese Waltz started off great.  I thought.  Until she spun with those "wings" and purposely got tangled in them.  It was supposed to be a joke, but I felt it fell flat.  And again at the end they included a stumble.  Why would they choose to do that to an other wise lovely dance.  

And Bruno couldn't have said it better, "What the HELL was that!?" He went onto say her facial expression looked spiteful and he thought she might eat somebody.  He advised against further comedic gags this early on.  Agreed!  Carrie Ann told her the "accidents" were a bold choice and that she was a lovely dancer.  Len said he liked it at first but chastised her for the funny stuff.  "The Viennese Waltz is not an appropriate dance for comedy."  

Scores:  Carrie Ann: 5, Len:  5, Bruno:  5  Total: 15

Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Brandy and Maks both are fierce competitors.  She wants to give it her all.  She wants to be perfect.  That never goes well in practice.  She swears.  Oh well.  On the dance floor, she is lovely and graceful.  A contender?  Perhaps.  Carrie Ann told her she was beautiful and graceful, but perhaps a bit too strong at times.  Len told her she made a fantastic impression.  And Bruno, just gushed on and on.

Scores:  Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 8  Total: 23

Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas


At first, I was all, Bristol Palin?!  Seriously?  And now, I'm still thinking, really!?"  Despite that, not being a performer of any kind, she didn't do too bad.  Len told her it was a very "acceptable" performance for the first week.  He noted her performance was clean and advised her to loosen up.  Bruno told her she shook her hips like a pro and advised her to focus more. 

Scores:  Carrie Ann: 6, Bruno: 6 Len: 6 Total: 18

Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas

Florence Henderson assures us, "Mrs Brady" she is not.  After she "flashed" the camera to show "The Situation" up, and swore during rehearsals, I quickly realized nope, she is not.  She is a lot of fun.And Corky is loving every minute of it!  Their cha cha cha was very cheeky and sassy.  I really enjoyed it.  And for a 76 year old, she's still got it.  Bruno said, "You are a spunky lady aren't you!"  He cautioned her that she looked insecure at times, and to work on her technique.  Carrie Ann told her that you can always tell when someone enjoys themselves.  And Len told her she was great.

Scores:
Carrie Ann:  6
Len: 6
Bruno: 6
Total: 18

Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower

Chelsie's concern with Michael is his posture.  Now why would a singer slouch!?  But he does.  She puts him the bar.  A torturous contraption that forces the person to stand up straight.  Their Viennese Waltz was not too shabby.  He needs to relax.  Carrie Ann told him he needs to lead and that he needs to smile.  Len told him that overall it was good, but that he needed lift his diaphragm and tuck in his butt.  Bruno told him to relax and enjoy it.  That when he is relaxed he does better.


Scores:
Carrie Ann:  6
Len: 5
Bruno: 5
Total:  16

The Situation and Karina Smirnoff


"The Situation" is so full of himself that it is sickening.  And their cha cha cha did not impress me at all.  So when MIKE asked, "Who wouldn't want this?"  I said, "Ummm me."   Len told him he was unrehearsed and therefore the dance was unpolished. Bruno on other hand believes there is something there?  Where???  It might be talent he added.  Carrie Ann told him she wanted to see what he would bring back next week.  Hopefully less of "The Situation." 

Scores:
Carrie Ann: 5
Len:5
Bruno: 5
Total:  15

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough


Unless you live in a cave, you know who she is.  And you know the movie she is probably most famous for.  And so, when their song--they don't get to choose-- was given to them, "These Arms of Mine." from that movie, she was excited.  She was excited until they started to rehearse.  Then memories flooded her and took her completely off guard.  She was reduced to tears and later explained to Derek that it was like she was back in time.  And she missed him(Patrick Swayze).  I felt so bad for her.  But their Viennese Waltz was beautiful and very emotional.  Bruno exclaimed, "Baby is back where she belongs!  And someone up there will be very proud of you!"  Carrie Ann was so moved by the dance that it brought tears to her eyes, saying that something profound happened.  Len thought the dance suited her and is excited to see her next week for the Jive.

Scores:
Carrie Ann:  8
Len: 8
Bruno: 8
Total: 24

David Hasslehoff and Kym Johnson

What an interesting choice.  David Hasslehoff, an alcoholic who was taken off America's Got Talent due to incidents of showing up drunk.  Hey if he can stay sober, great.  He seems like a good guy.  He says, his heart is young, but his body is OLD.  And he moves like it.  Their cha cha cha, was entertaining but he lacked finesse. 

I think actually Carrie Ann said it best this time when she said he was like an off spring of Donny Osmond and Jerry Springer.  In other words he shines likes Donny but moves like Jerry.  Bruno did have some colorful words though.  No not those kind.  He said we do love the Hoff!  We love the madness of it all.  There wasn't any dancing more like a potpourri of moves disguised as dance.  Len said it was never too early to panic.  

Carrie Ann:  5
Len: 5
Bruno: 5
Total:  15

Week one the couple to go home:  David Hasslehoff and Kym Johnson.  They dragged it out as long as they could.  It was annoying and nerve racking to say the least.  I can't wait to see what happens next week!

All pictures came from The Dancing With Stars FaceBook Page.  Found here.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Dreaming...

Lately, I have been dreaming.  Dreaming of new things that I need want.  A new couch comes to mind.  The couch in my family room is slowly dying a miserable death.  It is a reclining couch, and wouldn't you know it, the side that I normally sit on is the side that is breaking.  First, it was the foot rest.  It is permanently up.  And just a few days ago, the seat back went into the semi reclined position and won't sit back up.  Oh if only I could have a new couch.  Or at least a newer one.

Then I look at my kitchen table.  It's a good table, really.  It's the chairs that are getting sad.  And if you are going to replace your chairs, why not go all the way.  And since I am dreaming...I am going to dream big.  How about Bistro Sets?



I love this one!  It is from CSN stores.  It seats 8!  My BIL and his wife have one, and I loved it.  There are actually all kinds of Bistro Sets at CSN to choose from.  Which would you choose if you had the choice?  Would you choose the quaint outside table and chair sets?  Or like me, the setting for eight?  
What do you dream you can have? 



CENSORED

Have you ever just needed to sound off?  I mean really let it fly!  #$@%!  Then you need to check out Mimi from Living in France.  She does this wonderful Meme that allows you to tell whomever or whatever to ....well you get the point.  Last Friday, my dear friend Emmy hosted F-Bomb Friday for Mimi so I asked if it was too late to link up cause I had an F-Bomb I needed to drop!  She said it was still up!  Yippee!

On Monday

First to BLOGGER for NOT saving my original post for this!  What the @#$!  It was a great post!  And here it is 11:15 at night and I have to rewrite it!  Thanks a heap!

Next...

To My Bank *cough* USAA*cough*

Last month when I asked if I could make a half payment for that month, you said that was fine.  Thank you.  That helped a lot.  But then one week after that half payment was made, and the day AFTER my husband's surgery you called to ask us when we would be paying the other half!  What the French Toast!?  Are you serious???  We worked it out.  But really don't tell me X when you really mean Z.

But wait, there's more!  See I realized, to my horror last week that we were going to end up in the red if I didn't cancel some of the upcoming payments.  I went online to do just that, and all I did was double up on payments.  Together we worked it out.  Thanks for that.  But sadly my mortgage payment failed.  I was charged a late fee.  I understand that.  It was my mistake.  However, later I deposited the money needed to make up the difference and reassigned the payment date.  The earliest date YOU showed was the 16th.  So why then, when I checked on my account was there a second return fee for that payment was there.  What's that?  The money was taken on the 15th?  What the ----!?  Then why does it say online that the earliest date is the 16th? This is not MY fault.  What?  You are putting me on hold?  Shut the front door!  So now I have to explain all this stupid stuff to another person!

So I wait and wait and wait for at least five minutes, but I know it was more.  I finally get the "web expert."  Whatever.  Web expert tells me that the failed payment will automatically retry to go through.  Really.  Why then, doesn't the second attempt show up on my account, but the return charge does.  Something about not requiring an explanation for the second attempt and "was this not explained to you?" Now I am a recovering potty mouth, and I am proud to say that I merely said through gritted teeth, "NO!"  What I wanted to say was, "@#$% NO!"  Then you graciously refunded me my money.  So thank you *cough*  USAA *cough* for refunding me MY money for YOUR @#$%ing mistake!!

Is there something you need to get off your chest??