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Showing posts from November 15, 2009

Alligator Shoes

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I love a good blonde joke.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more…

1 through 5

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It's Thursday and once again, I am choosing to go with Mama Kat's weekly writing prompt. Today, I am doing something different. I am going to write about all five. I will keep them as brief as humanly possible so as not to bore you to tears, but then you can always click the X button right? I mean I would never know.

A Thanksgiving Remembered:

We all have our favorite things about Thanksgiving. The parade. The football. Does anyone remember when they used to show Miracle on 34th Street after the parade each year? Why don't they do that anymore? I digress.

When my first child was born in September of 97, I was determined to have Thanksgiving dinner. And well, having a lot a little bit of control issues, I wanted it done the way I was accustomed too. You know make the stuffing like my mom, the yams, etc. Forget the fact that I was operating on little or no sleep. Forget the fact that Rich at the time was working two jobs. Forget the fact that if Kristin wasn'…

I Pet A Snake

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That's right. I indeed touched a snake. I showed no fear, I just reached out and touched it. Of course, the snake in question was being handled by someone who knew what they were doing, and the snake itself was probably only 2 feet long at most. It wasn't cold and slimey as one might think. No, it was soft and silky. Perhaps this is how they glide so effortlessly around. I let the snake wrap it's tail around my wrist, and I could feel a sample of the power it has when it tightens its body around its victims. I honestly could have petted that silly thing all day, but it was a snake. So this got me thinking, what else have I done...you know sort of like a bucket list thing. I actually have done a lot of things, but that in know way means I am done!!! So what have I done....?

1. I have met: Scott Bakula,Dean Stockwell, Tony Danza,The Monkees, Lisa Whelchel, and had a photo op with President Bush(43) and Mrs. Bush.

2. I auditioned for a Bud Light commercial

3. I ca…

Under Wraps

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We have been in the market to buy a house since May. I remember getting the pre-qualification letter during a thunder and lightening storm. It was quite a display. Lightening is both terrifying and awesome to watch. As I drove away with my letter in hand, I began to feel excited and at the same time a little sick. I had visions of being in a home within a couple of months. Yeah, sure babe, right!

The market right now is terrible. It is not a buyer's market. It is a seller's market. Well maybe it is a banker's market, because most homes are short sales or bank owned. This means it is their decision whether an offer is accepted. If you are like me, you don't know what a short sale is. A short sale is a long drawn process with a lot of paper work. Sadly almost any home in our price range is a short sale. A short sale means the home was bought for far more than it is now currently worth. Sad, but true. So the bank comes up short and has to eat up the loss. H…

What's Your Humble Opinion?

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This morning I had to take my girls to school. Due to a family emergency, the extras were not going to school today and therefore Kristin & Emily would not be riding with them. As I drove Kristin to school, we began one of our lengthy discussions. Since this girl was tiny, she has had the capacity to carry on quite elaborate discussions, but then she also has the uncanny ability to switch gears in a nano-second. Today's topic: School uniforms. Her opinion is: Well they are good and bad. Okay, how are they good?

"Well they are good because then everyone is the same. No one can make fun of you for what you are wearing."

"Why are they bad?"

"Because you can't be unique. And because you can't mix and match outfits."
These are legitimate arguments for a 12 year old. She also didn't do it with a whiney tone. She stated her reasons thoughtfully and intelligently.

I had the rebuttal all ready and then it happened(again) a brain fart. D…