Friday, February 25, 2011

DDS

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It is confession time!  I love this day.  It is the one day a week I can come clean and feel good about myself.  Or it's a time share some not so nice things about  me and hope you still love me anyway.

I have DDS...or as I like to call it:  Donald Duck Syndrome.  DDS is affected by most Americans.  Did you know this?  It's true.  Here are some examples of my own DDS:

  • I have road rage.  Seriously, the idiot drivers out there should be grateful I don't own a gun.  
  • When the light turns red...it means stop.  Not three cars go through the left turn light!
  • If you are in the far left lane and realize oh shitake mushrooms I want to go RIGHT...simply drive to the next possible place to make a U-TURN and not drive straight across the FREAKING CROSSWALK to make it your turn right! (yes I actually saw that...right in front my CAR!  Good thing I was paying attention!)
  • The pedestrian does in fact have the right of way.  More specifically if you are looking to your left the entire time you are moving forward it is not the pedestrians fault you almost hit them at the right. (Yeah, that was me too...and Ryan!!  Thank goodness he still holds my hand in the parking lot!
  • If there is a 4 way stop....OBEY IT!
My DDS doesn't end there.  I am sad to report that have many other triggers that brings out my DDS.

  • When children fight over how to play a game
  • When children fight over who said what
  • When children fight over fighting
  • When children don't listen
  • Is it just me or is there a pattern here?
I really am an easy going kind of gal.  As long as I get my way.  And my children are obedient and loving 100 percent of the time.  And people don't act complete idiots while driving.  If you or someone you love suffers from DDS, there is no cure, and no known support group.  Basically if you suffer DDS you are out of luck and completely impossible to understand when you are angry.

What's on your conscience today?  Link up with Mamarazzi and Glamazon to join the fun!!

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11 comments:

Emmy said...

DDS love it! The other day I realized my kids have been correcting me because I say words funny or say the wrong thing.. I think it is because I am so flustered that my mind is all over the place and so I can't speak coherent sentences anymore, Bill Cosby anyone?

hawkeyejlp said...

OhMyGoodness...I've got road rage big time. I commute an hour a day from August through May--this is year #13. My patience with idiots runs out for the year each February. SO HARD to keep it together now that I share my drive with the five year old.

amberlyadventures said...

I'm full of road rage. FULL OF IT.
Can I add that if a traffic light is blinking red due to a power outage that doesn't mean you just continue to go through it. YOU HAVE TO TREAT IT LIKE A STOP SIGN! Which means, YOU HAVE TO LET PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE GO TOO.


Ahhh, I feel better. Thanks. :)

Happy weekend!

VandyJ said...

Yeah, I get DDS sometimes, OK, lots of times. Mostly when Turbo gets selective hearing, or decides that I'm only talking to hear myself talk.

MiMi said...

I have major Road Rage and I live in a small time.
See, my kids even know the drill: at a red light when it turns green I hear this from the backseat: Which shade of green are you waiting for? and also You can GO you IDIOT!
Whoops!

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! I have joggers rage. I yell at every moron that almost runs me over or who does not stop for me at lights.

I'd feel bad if I had yelled at you.

Nicole said...

Dear father, I must confess... LOL :)

And in Germany, the pedestrian does not have the right of way... I don't live there, my mom travel's there for work.

AMY said...

HA! DDS......yep I have it too! Now I know what its called.
Great blog, I'm a new follower.
Amy's Life @
www.amyclairejacob.blogspot.com

Blogging Loulasway said...

DDS I love it....I don't have Road Rage...tho I have been on the receiving end of someone who does and WOW was that ever SCARY...I tend to suffer from SDDS (Silent Donald Suck Syndrome) which is probably far more scary cause I'm like a ticking bomb you never know when I am going to EXPLODE!

mormonhermitmom said...

Is that what I have? Learn something new everyday.

Cherie said...

Road Rage = Me too! Don't know if you caught the post I wrote a couple days ago to the crazy old lady who almost got us both in an accident the other morning...some people's kids!