Monday, July 5, 2010

When Push Comes to Shove

We went to see Toy Story 3 on Friday.  I loved it.  I want to see it again.  In 3D.  Why does it have to be so danged expensive to see them that way!  Especially since most of the movies are being presented that way anyway.  Not the point.  We all loved it.  We all boo-hooed some.  It was the best in the series. 

After the movie, we had designs on going to dinner.  Well it was only 4 when the movie was over so we decided to walk around the mall.  There is a play area in our mall that is perfect for the younger set. Little cars  with slides, a "stone" bridge for crossing is usually used for jumping.  It's always packed with kids and chaos.  Friday was no different.  Kids and chaos as usual.

Ryan was happily playing and all of the sudden he was running to me, crying.  Apparently some little monster child boy had pushed Ryan.  We calmed him down, and told him to go back and play.  He did. And then I saw it.  The monster child who was likely 3..or a very short 4.  It's hard for me to judge based on height since my kids are off the charts for height.  This rotten boy pushed my child!  Unprovoked.  He just shoved him. And then I said it.  "Push him back!"  Now I didn't say it loud enough for Ryan to hear him.  But if you were within 2 feet of me, you would have heard me.  To my pleasure surprise, Ryan did exactly that.  He pushed him back.  Rich didn't like it though.  I can see his point.  I can.  But why should he let that kid push him?  He didn't do anything.  He just was there.  It made me mad.  I have a dark side.  I took a quiz on FB as to which character of 24 I most resemble....

Basically I am good person, but do not cross me or those that I love and hold dear.
So I have a question.  What would you do?  Do you tell your kid to push back--while I did say it, Ryan did not hear me--do you want your kid to do that?  At that moment, I did.  What would/should you do?

16 comments:

annie said...

I would tell my child the same thing - although I think I would really have a Hand that Rocks the Cradle moment, grab the kid by the arm and tell him not to MESS with my kid!

Shugee @ Blue Heron Cottage said...

Okay, Lourie, When I saw Jack in knew I was going to love your post. You know me and my recent "experience" so my mood right now is very mother bear. I think you were in the right. I do not condone violence and I try to live my life with thinking of the savior in the forefront but right now I think sometimes children should have consequences or what happens eventually is what happened to me in your know where. Sorry for the vagueness, but I know you know me. Also, I've always had a difficult time fighting the mother bear in me. Are we supposed to go with our instincts like wildlife does or be what society tell us is right?
Good post and good topic and if you ever need me I'll also be your Jack.
Hugs,
Kim

Shugee @ Blue Heron Cottage said...

Sorry meant to type 'you know where'.
Also, how do bullies start? Is it because they can always get away with pushing another child around and what if that child does not allow themselves to be pushed around because they have confidence and self respect.

I think you did the right thing.

Shell said...

I feel the same way. I don't want my kids to be the one to start it, but if someone is messing with them, I don't want them to just stand there and cry. Take 'em OUT!

Tracie said...

I don't know. I don't want my kids to be bullied but other parents scare me with their attitudes and tempers......

Richard said...

The parents of the boy that pushed my son around weren't caring in the slightest. I saw them when the boy left and they were watching, but doing nothing. The father looked like someone who was probably cheering his son for pushing a bigger kid and getting away with it. They didn't do anything when Ryan defended himself (at the silent behest of LJ!). I did tell Ryan that if he gets pushed again to tell the kid to stop it. You get one warning, then the Darth Ryan will take over! Haha.

mormonhermitmom said...

Once upon a time, I think the bullies were mostly taken care of once one kid stood up for himself and socked them in the nose! Nowadays, if a kid defends himself he can land in the principal's office, or worse, in court. It's not fair, but there you go. I probably would have told the bully to knock it off, and then we would have gone elsewhere to play. Not as satisfying but maybe safer in the long run.

Emmy said...

I'm afraid mormonhermitmom is right. It is such a fine line as you don't want my kids pushing but I definitely don't want them to be bullied.

Laura said...

Ohhh wow, I don't really know what I would do, I haven't really had to deal with that kind of situation yet. I definitely don't think you are out of line though I can see myself going and pushing the other little kid. I'm kidding. Okay, no I'm not. :) I definitely know I have the Mama Bear in me though, don't mess with my kids attitude, so who knows how I will be like when this stuff happens. Good for your boy for sticking up for himself though, I like that!

(P.S. I would never push a child...even if I really wanted to.) :)

Kellie said...

Where was that child's Mom? I hate it when parents send their kids to the playland and then leave or tune out. Honestly- I would go up to the child and be the parent- tell him not to push, and ask him where his Mommy is, hoping to get the Mother's attention so she could get a clue. Yeah, I've done it before and am not shy about it- it teaches the parent to take responsibility.

Nikki said...

That is a great thought...I honestly don't know what I would do. I think I would walk over and ask where their parent was and then tell the parent that their child was pushing, but then if I did that...I wouldn't be teaching anyone to solve their own battles or issues or how to stick up for themselves, because let's face it unfortunately in the real world there are people out there like that too. I think you did exactly the right thing, and I hope, what I would've done too, let him push him back so he learns how to stick up for himself. (ps that is so rude though that he would push your son just to be a bully though!)

Linda Medrano said...

That bratty kid should be put in Juvie till he's 18 or so. Or Military School. That'd fix his dumb little ass!

Shelley said...

I probably would have walked over to the kid myself and let him have it! Haha.

Vanessamae said...

Push back. but never push first. I had this little girl in grade school that would push me, and I told my dad. He got mad at me for not defending myself! So I say push back Ryan

Sue said...

My reaction in these situations was generally to watch closely from afar, waiting to see if the kids could work it out themselves. Chances are that, once your son pushed back, the smaller child would stop. However, if my child pushed a smaller child hard, I would go tell him to be careful, even though the child had pushed first.

Unless my child were in danger of being hurt (not just annoyed) or of hurting someone else, I pretty much stayed out of it. I wanted my children to learn how to cope with these types of things. Mom wouldn't always be there to bail them out, so it seemed best to let them figure out how to respond ahead of time, when I was there to step in if needed.

JMHO, of course. And it wasn't easy. I also felt like letting the other kid have it!

=)

PS. I liked the advice you gave your son. Just telling the kid to stop is always a good solution. And sometimes it even works!

KK said...

Mama bear sneaks out :)