Monday, September 28, 2009


Why are kids so cruel? Why are they mean? Why must they torment those they don't even know! Why do they say horrible things to a person because they are smaller or have acne? Why do they single them out of ten or twenty other kids? Or do they just go through a roster of poor unsuspecting souls!

I was picked on horribly, particularly in middle school. The assailants were usually girls. Ladies, why are girls soooo mean!? I digress. I have no memory of their names, or faces. I remember the torment and the feelings. I remember it right at this moment like it was yesterday. I otherwise, don't even care or think about it. What's even better is I seriously do not remember them. They are erased from my mind. What a blessing that is. And further more, I could give a rat's butt where they are now. They are nobody to me.

So I have a question. How do you empower your child? How do you help them rise above and not let these nameless jerks get the better of them? How? I was picked on, and yet I can't figure out how to make it better! How is this done?


mormonhermitmom said...

I wish I knew. I had one best friend in middle school, and that got me through the worst of the teasing (mostly by guys, the girls looked through me).

CJ Sime said...

I am all ears too. It doesn't just happen to kids. I've been there before and i am there now. Mean mean girls.

My Shorty has been telling me her friends are pushing her, I don't know what to do besides have her tell the teacher.

From what I've read though, it is best to sign them up for activities that are outside of the school or church peers. Find things she is good at and accentuate those things. The books say she will grow to learn self esteem comes from within, not from what others say.

Emmy said...

I loved CJ's advice.
That does sound like a great idea. I was picked on at times too and it hurt and I hated it.. but I just kept going. I don't think I really told my mom about it much, I just dealt with it and somehow made it through it.

But you are right someday all those mean people will be forgotten. Just keep loving her, let her know that she will always have a safe place at home where she is loved and never be picked on, and that it will pass.

I do remember one time in high school, when I was being picked on by this one girl, who honesty terrified me. I tried to just ignore it and ignore it and it didn't stop. I remember reading in my scriptures to love your enemies. So Valentines day rolled around and I had little boxes with candy that I was giving to all my friends. At the beginning of class with this girl, I walked up to her, put one down on her desk, wished her a happy V-day then walked away.
She didn't tease me after that anymore.

Mamma Christine said...

Love what Emmy had to say. I also think that finding people in worse circumstances (there are always some) and trying to help them does wonders for filling the holes in your own self worth. When you know you are a good, worthwhile person, your self esteem is able to deflect a lot of negativity.

Good luck. It's so much harder to watch it happen to a child than to experience it yourself isn't it?

Rachel Sue said...

I'm still figuring it out. Luckily my daughter is loved by all. So far. We'll see how long that lasts. . .