Tuesday, October 14, 2014

POYHO~ This Helps How?

What do you do when the school year starts off bad?  What do you when your child is being is targeted by a so called friend on a daily basis? What do you do when despite emails and meetings your child has taken matters into their hands?

Middle is school is brutal? How about the fourth grade? This has been the first two months of fourth grade for my son. A rotten turd child (yes I will call him that) has been picking on Ryan since school started. If that wasn't enough, a so called friend of his has joined this boy in this terrible treatment. Now when a random kid picks on a kid it is bullying. When a "friend" does it, I call this abuse. Certainly a nine year old doesn't realize he is abusing his friend, but let's face it, it is in fact abuse. These boys relish and delight in teasing and harassing Ryan for anything their simple minds can come up with, which at  nine is limited. However, when you are nine as well feelings can be hurt easily. Unfortunately this is where the retaliation comes in. Ryan, like any other human being could only take so much and he snapped. He has resorted to hitting, pushing and kicking. That isn't to say these other boys didn't fight back, it is just that Ryan threw the first punch. Suddenly Ryan is the problem.

Now before anyone gets upset, let me explain that I did address this with the teacher. I felt like this was a problem and seemed one-sided. (I still do--which is why I am blogging after months of hiatus.) The problem here is I am not allowed to know the details of these boys' discipline or action plan. I just have to "have faith" that steps have been made. I can't really have much faith when they continue to harass my son and my son is basically on isolation. He is doing tech stuff on computers with the teacher during recess time. Now he likes this, and he is learning how to do things on the computer, but I am wondering what steps are being taken to correct the behavoir of the boys in question. Do they get to continue acting like little jerks, because there are jerks in the world? That is the message I got today and the message I heard my son get. I also felt like he had to just put up with it. To be fair, he was given some tools and action plans in order to defend that did not include violence. However, in a class of 31 students my son only has issue with two boys. Does this seem slightly off to anyone else?

I was in a bad mood the rest of the day. I cried. I didn't say anything further to my son other than funny stuff he could think in his head, because let's face it if he said anything verbal he would be the one in trouble.  I kept my mouth shut, mostly because it was his birthday yesterday and I didn't want to spoil his day with my rotten attitude. But what would you do?  Am I overreacting?

I am linking up with Shell today for Poor Your Heart Out.  You can too!





5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel for you and your son. My son is also in fourth grade and occasionally has issues with another boy in his class. Fortunately, it isn't as bad as what seems to be happening to your son and is more an overzealous student who wants to help. My son is probably the smallest child in his class. I'm convinced he gets picked on more that he lets on but doesn't really tell me, or, doesn't even realize it. He is more of a loner and talks tech and little else. When he had problems in kindergarten, one of the girls pulled his shorts down, I was devastated when they wouldn't tell me how she was disciplined. Every year, I am grateful when I look on his class list and see her name is not there. Good luck and I'm sorry you and your son have to go through this.

Shell said...

Can we make an "I hate fourth grade" Club? Because I'll join you.

It's a privacy thing with the teacher not being able to discuss other students with you.

But it sucks when you need to know what is being done to help your child- b/c it's not all on him, something has to be done with the other kids, too.

And it shouldn't be your child has to be inside during recess... even if he likes it, it makes it seem like he's the only one in the wrong.

If you want to vent or talk more about it, I'm around. xo

Twingle Mommy said...

I'm so sorry your son is going through this. I hate that he's the one inside when the other two kids are the problem. It seems to me that the more we become aware of bullying the less the schools seem to tell us about what they are doing about it. Hopefully things get better soon. Can you have a meeting with all parties so you can talk to the parents?

Diana said...

My nephew was bullied for years and it really took a toll on him mentally. I'm sorry you're going through this.

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